Midgets and Eggs…..
We took two see-through plastic cups and put an egg in regular water and then one in salt water to see which one would float.
Chucky was kinda getting into this and quickly asked, What else you got?
I gave them all their own cup, told them to write their name on it and fill it about halfway up with vinegar. Then I passed out the eggs and told them to drop them into the vinegar. We were then going to put them on a shelf and check out what happened to the eggs the next day.
I asked Blonde Sally what she thought was going to happen.
Oh, a baby chicken will come out! It’ll be sweet and fluffy and I will hold her!
Brainiac says, No.No. Blonde Sally, everyone knows eggs have to be kept warm for the chickens to come out! That’s why the mother chicken, which is called a hen, sits on them. If the mother doesn’t keep them warm – you put them in an ink-a-bater.
Blonde Sally is very indignant with that answer.
Brainiac rolls on with, You put cucumbers in vinegar and they turn into pickles! I think the egg will turn green and turn into a pickle-egg.
Chucky, This crap stinks! If the egg turns green (cause they all know Brainiac is usually the closest) that means were making rotted eggs! That is so cool!
It’s getting close to time for lunch. We have our eggs on the shelf and were cleaning up our mess and Chucky asks me what am I going to do with the other carton of eggs? (they’ve been at room temperature for so long they can’t be used in cooking class)
Chucky gets the idea we should take the eggs outside and crack them open. (they all start screaming please.please.please.)
I know the gardening class has a compost outside the side door. It’s an old wooden box full of soil. I reason if I let them crack the eggs in it and we turn them in the soil, even though it’s 115 degrees outside, maybe no harm done. Regular school is not in session, if it gets a little stinky, no one will complain and because of the heat, no one will be outside anyway.
I say, Okay.
Chuckys pushing and shoving everybody outta the way to be the first in line. I’m standing at the door holding the eggs.
Chucky looks at me so angelic and says, Miss Whitelady as soon as we get out there can we throw them at you?
Ha! The first thing that enters the child’s mind!
Followed closely with, Then can we throw them at the school?
Nooooo…Okay. Lets go over the rules…if you throw them at me, another person, or the school – big bad trouble….
I walk them over to the compost pile and let them toss their eggs in. They break. Big Whoop. Most exciting thing that has ever happened to them. We get some sticks and bury them really good.
Chucky is waiting to be the last one to throw his in. Before I can stop him he does this crazy ass wind-me-up baseball throw and hurls his egg as hard as he can into the box. But a funny thing happens. We’ve fluffed up the soil so good, his egg bounces around and comes to a stop and doesn’t break. He tries it again and the same exact thing happens. Now the kids are all giggling and snickering at him – he’s getting pissed.
My boss starts calling me on the radio, Where are you guys? It’s lunch time!
I don’t want to tell her were out in the heat cracking eggs..ya know..
I pick up a rock and toss into the box. I tell Chucky to just toss his egg up and let it drop on the rock and break. We gotta go!
The child flings it up into the air. He gave this fling so much momentum that I swear to you, I am not making this up for laughs. Were all standing there frozen with our faces looking up. The egg is white and it was noon, so you couldn’t see it for the sun. It would not come down!
It was like it had disappeared! Then gravity and karma both kicked in. Chucky leaned over the rock and got about as far as, What the hel~
Nailed him right in the top of the head! He looked up at us….he had egg yolk running down his face, broken pieces of egg-shell stuck all in his hair.
I couldn’t stop the kids from laughing at him, because I was laughing too hard.
He hated me for a long time after that.